new year something or others

So, I read someone's philosophy about how she never makes new years resolutions because she always breaks them so she makes new year.....something or other. I had the idea before I sat down to write my thoughts. Well I have the same problem if I resolve to do something for the next year I usually don't do it. For lack of umph. So this year I'm gonna make some straight up goals and really work to achieve them and make them do able. I think thats my other problem I don't make my resolutions realistic. So here is my list.

1. Keep a better house: Now those that know me extremely well know that I have issues in this department and have always had issues in this department. So instead of saying that I'm going to keep my house clean I'm going to set a goal to always wash the dishes after dinner and keep up laundry.Hopefully with the addition of our new kinect my better half will have the incentive to help me keep the living room clean :)

2. Write 10,000 words toward my book: Now I know that I will not finish the book but it would be nice to actually make time to write a few paragraphs a week toward this goal. Now whether or not I'll ever get it published....thats another story. I'd also like to participate in Nanowrimo (I think i have that right); however I'm not going to make that a true goal till I try my best to get the 10,000 words toward my 50,000 long term goal. :P

3. Work out 3 times a week: Over the last few years I've set a weight amount I"d like to lose but that almost always never happens so this year I'm going to set a goal to get active. Whether that's playing on the kinect or walking around work or if i can ever get motivated enough, taking the dogs to the Indian mounds for a hike. While I know this goal will be the hardest of the three I know that its extremely important that I make this goal for my health.

I am also hoping that by writing them down and having them in a public place where people know about them I'll be more motivated to keep going so that I don't feel like a liar or a let down. So here is to a better year. I hope it brings us all good luck.

Draka

So this is Draka and I. Draka is our newest member of our family. Mace passed away last week and we found this sweetheart on Craigslist and couldn't pass her up. Not sure what breeds she is but we're guessing Husky/Rottie mix. She's colored up like a Rottie but has the face and tail of a Husky. We'll just have to wait till she's older and find out then I guess. :P Hopefully she stay's fluffy :) And if you were wondering its pronounced Drae-Ka not Dra-Ka. (I can't seemed to remember how to do the soft A but you get the point right?) She was named after Thrall's mother in World of Warcrack. Yes, I know we're nerds :)

Our lives have been pretty good since the last time I took time to blog about life. I got a job at wally world and I'm enjoying it so far. Its been nice to actually pay bills for once :) We lost Mace because someone threw tinfoil in our back yard and he ate it. We rushed him to the vet but unfortunately there was nothing we could do and we had to put him down. But hopefully Draka will help heal the lonely feeling left in the house for all of us. Bear misses him so much.

WIP or a WIP i'm currently exploring in my head

She wandered down the dark hallway as if in a trance. The melody before her pulled her forward with promises untold. Emotions poured from the notes as they led her down the hallway to an unknown player. The minor keys pulled at her heart. It touched her in a way nothing ever had. Though the hallway was unfamiliar to her she seemed to move as if she knew every obstacle with out looking to the floor. The strange material of the gown she wore swished ever so softly against her legs and the floor beneath her. The soft clack of her heals against the hard wood mingled with the beat of the soft melody.
As she reached the door that lead to the mystery player and the source of the beautiful tune, it stopped. With a shake of her long brown curls the trance all but dissipates from her conscience returning her to the strange hallway. Panic rose up in her stomach and she could taste the bile. With out hesitation she reached for the doorknob even though her mind screamed at her not to. As the door opened and she took a step forward into the room before her, everything went black.
Satyana awoke from her dream startled. Her hand rose from beneath the cover to cover her eyes and forehead. The melody always haunted her long after she woke from the strange dream. Always the same hallway and always the same melody. None of it made any sense to her. No matter how hard she tried she'd never been able to reproduce her mysterious melody from her dreams. Every time she sat down and tried to remember it she'd forget everything. Why she was there what she was doing and then for a few weeks she'd be free from it. Then like a cat in the night it would return to haunt her. Every dream the same. Wandering down the hallway in the strange dress in search of the melody and the player behind it.
She pulled the comforter tightly around her as she desperately tried to find her way back into the dream world. The melody still lingered in the back of her mind making it near impossible for her to return to that blissful state of dreams and sleep. She sighed and resigned herself to defeat. The comforter made its sounds of disappointment as she pulled it from her and sat up rubbing her eyes. With a small cat like stretch she crawled out of bed and made her way to the kitchen and the blissful ambrosia that is coffee.
With the push of a button the lovely smell of coffee filled the small apartment. Satyanna shrugged her strap back over her shoulder and with her feet shuffling along the hard wood floors of the hallway, made her way to the bathroom and the cool tile floor. Starting the shower up she moved to grab the towel from the closet and turn to look at her self in the mirror. Again she looked as though she hadn't slept all night. Looked like another makeup day even though the heat index had other plans. She stepped into the hot water and let it wash away her negativity. Water was her element and it always calmed her after one of the dreams. She couldn't' quite find it in herself to call it a night mare when the melody was so tempting and lovely. Nightmares were normally terrifying and had negative connotations.
Saty looked up at the water and with a slight prayer of thanks to the element for its calming effects she promptly shut the it off. She wrapped the towel around her just as the alarm on her phone notified her that it was promptly 7 am and she needed to be up. She laughed as she turn it off and moved to get her coffee with cream and sugar. The rest of her morning was the usual boring routine.

Rock Bottom

Another Saturday spent eating Doritos and watching Buffy. It was halfway through the bag when I realized that my life was deader than Spike and Angel. No friends usually means no life. Now why couldn't I find a man who'd love me the way Spike and Angel loved Buffy. Why couldn't I find a love that would last and not take ever shred of dignity and strength I had left every time something went wrong. Maybe it was me. Maybe there was something wrong with me.

It wasn't really that I minded being the “S” word, I just missed having things to do. When I'd gone all carreer woman I'd neglected my friends and family to the point that I had none. My parents had died 5 years ago in a car accident and since then I'd lost touch with both my sisters and my brother was M.I.A since the funeral, even to my sisters. Sitting in my bed I relized how much I missed them. I glanced at the alarm clock next to my bed and groaned at the time. Insomnia really was the mistress of pain.

I crawled out of bed, turned off the TV , slipped on my froggie slippers,(bunnies are too over rated), and continued to the living room and the light from my computer screen. I sat there and stared trying to decide whether to enter the World of Warcraft. Is this really what my saturdays had really come to? Late night Buffy and World of Warcraft? My head hit the desk with a loud thud. This really was rock bottom. Add to late nights at the bookstore and the four cats who slept on my bed currently and you had my life. Again....thud. I was utterly pathetic. And with that last thought sleep took over me and I fell under slumped against my desk.





Not too shabby. I like this beginning better than my other start :) too bad that no one reads my blog to tell me if tis good or not. *sigh*

Mugged

So, Monday morning around 1:25 am I was mugged at gun point by 2 black males around 6' and 6'2" tall. Sadly, I was always so sure that I'd be able to handle myself in this situation due to all the self defense classes I'd taken at college and a church in young womens. I also, like most women, always thought "it will never happen to me I'm too cautious." I always did everything right. I never parked in the shadows. I always had my keys wrapped in my hands like brass knuckles with my car key out and ready. I never approached my passenger's side door first. I scanned the parking lot with my head held hight and alert. I keep kicking myself in the tush over how stupid I was Monday morning.

I was so stuffed up I couldn't sleep and the Nightquil never did anything for me other than made me drowsy. So, before I went mad I got in my car and went up to Kroger while Reggie was on his overnight shift. This of course has lulled me into a false sense of security and usually Its okay because Bernard the Security guy watches me go to my car. I parked under the tree on the Far right side of the parking lot by Reggie's car. Mistake number one of the night. I went in and bought tissues, decongestant and a Greek yogurt to try. I went to put them in the car since I was going to be in there for a little bit talking and keeping Reggie awake and I didn't want my yogurt to go bad. I made it to my car. I had scanned ahead of me but not by where the keep the extra carts. Mistake number 2 for the night. However its only half a mistake as I did keep alert and scanned the parking lot just not the building. *sigh*

Mistake number 3 I didn't have my keys ready and I took precious time at my car fiddling with them. Again, I have never slipped up like that. I've always got my car key in between the two middle fingers. Mistake number four for the night...I went to the passenger side door which was full with a basket I was using for work. I didn't really have time to unlock the door when I noticed movement out of my peripherals. I'm good with peripherals but not good enough. I thought it was one of the homeless that I normally meet when I go up there that late.

I turned to say that I didn't have cash but he could have my yogurt if he wanted and noticed the first black male wearing a mask and had something pointed at me. I started Screaming like I was taught, hoping Reggie could hear me in side. Nope! As he grabbed my purse I noticed it looked like a paint ball gun so I swung my keys in my hands at him and screamed again. I screamed a third time as he wrenched my FAVORITE purse EVER out of my hand and ran away, I threw my keys at him as he ran and almost ran after him but thats when I noticed the taller black male who was bigger built than the one who took my purse so I just ran to the emergency exit of the store and pounded on it. Reggie met me at the front door and trembling I yelled that I'd been mugged.

He looked for the police number and after a minute or two of not finding it he tossed me my phone and told me to call 911 while he called his friend Johnny up to the front. I'm still not sure why. I think it was to have someone up there while he was busy with me to watch the front. I was calmed long enough to make the phone call but as soon as I hung up I was trembling and in utter duress. I couldn't stop crying.

That is officially the worst day of my life and I've lived through a house fire. *sigh* I pray daily that none of my friend male or female ever have that experience. I got a total of about 3 hours Monday and 3 hours Tuesday. Tuesday before we went and saw Alice in Wonderland, I saw the detective to give my 3rd and final statement with a secretary present. The two Bastards are in custody, however, they can't really charge them with armed robbery due to no evidence. I'm hoping that the detective was able to go to Kroger and get the surveillance video and that he can arrest them for the right crime. They had robbed someone before me just up the road a bit and were in the process of a home invasion when the police apprehended them.

Now here is the kicker, the Detective also told me that the "paint ball gun" I'd seen was actually a children's size 22 shot gun. It took about 5 hours for this to all settle in after a botched trip to the DMV, several minor arguments with a husband who doesn't quite understand what I was really going though, no sleep and the flu. I ended up in a near psychotic meltdown. So much for being fine :P Reggie was kind enough to listen to me babble on about how I was feeling. I think he finally understood where the mini break downs were coming from this after noon. Him not understanding why I was breaking down sobbing every five minutes is what lead to a lot of our arguments that day. I was also finally able to let out everything that I refused to say aloud. I really was wrong to say I was fine. I was physically fine but mentally I haven't really been. Just been putting up a strong face for everyone.

All in all I'm fine now. Really! I'm drained and not sure I'll be getting out in crowd's too much this week. I'm going to at least go to sacrament. I know there will be lots of ladies at church freaking out over me if I don't. I missed choir tonight, which Reggie didn't agree with, because I've been so drained today. I don't need to miss church on Sunday.

I haven't gotten anything back. Reggie said he'd take me to Walmart after he gets off tonight to look for a new purse when there shouldn't be anyone in the store. I know its irrational but when I'm out in public I feel like all eyes are scrutinizing my every move. *sigh* Well I guess thats about it. I'm sorry for putting if all out there but it does help me to write everything down. I would have done it Monday night but I wanted to wait till I did my final statement at the detective's office.

Sneak peak at Dark.

Still a major work in progress but I think its going to be good. Kind of a mix of Dresden files meets night world meets mediator meets dark angel. LOL hee hee.

#2 Dark

Jasmine looked out over the city from her apartment. The tinted windows made the sun bareable during the day. Most of the human race was busy racing down the streets of Atlanta. No one was even aware of the world that mingled among them. All the demons and vampires that mingled with the living. It was a world where myth and legend no longer existed. Everything could be explained in one fashion or another. There were few who would even consider that the paranormal existed. Jaz was one of those few. She'd learned first hand about the undgerground world that was , as her favorite author put it, the Night World.
It had always amused her to no end that in a world who's best selling novels were about Vampires and Witches and Fae folk didn't believe what they were reading. She giggled as the thought of the reaction someone would have to realize that the pages in their books were closer to reality than their everyday life.

Stale Cake.

So Reggie and I celebrated out anniversary early tonight and I pulled out the cake that I'd put up in a Tupperware container in the freezer like you are supposed to on the one year mark.....I think i'm going to be sick. When i pulled it out to defrost it there it wasn't freezer burned but it sure tasted like it was. This is probably the worst tradition I've ever tasted ;P

Other than the nasty cake we had a good night. I fixed stuffed bake potatoes and some Sirloin steaks that the inlaws gave us from Omaha Steaks and we watched Family Guy's Something Something.....Dark Side. All in all it was a good evening.

Tommorrow is gonna end up being my last day with the census bureau. Hopefully I'll be rehired in April or get a job with a local Children's Friend, daycare center. I keep praying for us. We've survived one year. Now for 60 more.